TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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