I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
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