I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Never underestimate the power of titties
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
