I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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