I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I had to cum in my sink.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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