Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
babies were throwing up all over the place
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
