the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
