i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Randomize
