erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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