How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I wish life had little blips of pornography
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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