I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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