he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
