i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
