no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
