YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
