Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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