ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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