she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
