Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
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