hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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