oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
