I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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