Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
