Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
You took a bar mat shot.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
