WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
