"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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