I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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