This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
