Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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