help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
