She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
