I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
