My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
