Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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