Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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