There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
