When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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