I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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