The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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