how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
