also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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