we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
