I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
