if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
