I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
