You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
