But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
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