i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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