Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
