im having a threesome with these popsicles
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
