Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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