I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
