dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
the room spins SO much faster in panama
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
