absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
