oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
She's like a pop up book from hell.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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