What did we do last night that was yellow?
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
